The real reason you’re stuck isn’t because of the trauma.
I spent decades of my life blaming myself and hiding because I felt so ashamed and gross and I just wanted to hide from the world.
I blamed myself.
I believed it was my inner spark that drew my abusers to me to take it. I thought that if I had just dimmed my authentic expression, then this would never have happened to me.
You may believe the reason that you’re stuck and can’t move on in your life is because of the trauma you’ve been through.
What if I told you the trauma isn’t the problem?
The real problem is how your nervous system reacted to the trauma.
Let me break it down…
Yes trauma happened and when it did here is what your nervous system did with that “input”:
1. It froze so you could survive.
2. It internalized the shame of your abuser and told you it was your fault. This way there is the illusion that you had some control over what happened to you.
3. It fractured your mind, nervous system, and psyche. Then it hid pieces of the truth that were too painful to process at the time away from you so that you could survive.
4. You needed to feel in control so it gave you someone safe to blame, someone you could be angry with and not get hurt again. So you blame yourself.
5. It told you to get small, hide and be invisible and so you shut down everything that made you shiny, outspoken, and draws attention to you because your mind believes that if you go invisible this will never happen again.
All of this happened AUTOMATICALLY. That’s right! None of how your system responded was a choice.
It all happens subconsciously without your choice or control.
This is how your nervous system, mind, and psyche helped you to survive the trauma. It seems counterintuitive I know, AND…if you’re reading this post, it worked.
Understanding this is the first step.
Don’t beat yourself up for how your nervous system so brilliantly and automatically protected you. Thank it! It was the one that helped you survive.
Curious to know more about how your subconscious protects you and can stand in your way?
Take the FREE Subconscious Pattern Protection Quiz.
Click the image above to take the quiz.